Tainted Art.

Hanging on the wall of the gallery was a piece of art. It was a beautiful picture of a bunch of flowers with the most intricate details carefully drawn to perfection. But people just walked pass - some without even glancing at it, some who looked down upon it, some who looked at it with disgust, and even some who hurried by so as to not be associated with it. Because it was. No longer was it picture perfect, but rather tainted. Splattered with paint. Torn. Slashed. Smudged. And ripped. 
But one man came. And he bought the tainted piece of art without hesitation. One could not begin to understand how he could have loved something so.. stained. But he did. The man began to paint a replica of the picture.. every inch of it was painted with precision. And even though it was not yet complete, it was undoubtedly going to be as perfect as the last.  


God gave me a vision tonight. And for the first time in a long long time, it seemed so real and so clear. It was as if I was in the same room that He was painting. When I first saw the tainted piece of art, it was like looking at my life. My life story painted on a piece of canvas. God painted it beautifully. But I stained it. It's been a rough few months and I found myself distancing from God to a point where it seemed like I was spiritually drained and completely disconnected from Him. And believe you me, it was the worst feeling in the world. I found myself looking for that sense of purpose and worth, that joy that was once there..but no matter how much I wanted to get out of that phase, the past kept coming back to haunt me, I despised myself for being a hypocrite, and the little men in my head would not stop controlling every inch of me. I've been lingering on the past and I kept complaining to God that it was unfair, that He took something so dear away from me. I had nothing but spite in my heart. For them. And sadly, for Him. And so my life canvas was further slashed and ripped. I was ashamed. I would have been a disgrace to all who knew me. And I honestly thought I could not longer be salvaged. But God reminded me tonight, that He was more than willing to pay for my life canvas, bring it back to His workshop, and repaint the picture He once drew. Even as I saw God's hand at work, He assured me that 'Just as I am not done with this painting, my child, you are not done growing'. I have much to learn and so much more to grow, spiritually. I need to reconnect and draw closer to Him. I want to. I need to constantly remind myself that He's holding that paintbrush, not the little men in my head. 'The past was good. But the future will be better. I have plenty more in store for you than what you desire'. God is in control. And He WILL see everything through. 

"I'm coming back to the Heart of Worship..."  I'm coming back to You.